He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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