Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
