my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
