Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
