I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
