I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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