i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Can I color on your dick again?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Randomize
