she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
