come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
