Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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