actually, I'm a sock model
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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