Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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