Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
