The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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