i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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