Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
