idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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