she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We left the knife in your bed.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
