Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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