Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
