I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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