I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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