So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
