I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
