I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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