It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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