i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
