was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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