Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
