In the future we'll all be gay
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
