She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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