There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
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No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
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I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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