Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
