Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize