How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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