Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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