Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
