she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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