I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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