The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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