Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
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shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
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I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats