i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
