i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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