I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
