How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
