I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
