Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
