Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
