I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
3 2 1 whiskey
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
