I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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