I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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