Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
