I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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