Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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