he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
