It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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