ugly people sure do ruin things
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
